Tuesday, September 23, 2003
As if things couldn’t get any fucking worse…
I woke up this morning and noticed that the top to my hamster cage was left open last night. I had fed them before I got into bed and somehow forgot to close the cage. When I got out of bed this morning, I noticed that hamster Neechee was missing. I immediately started to panic. I looked all around my room and couldn’t find him. I thought maybe he got out of my bedroom and was walking around the apartment. But if that was the case, our cat would have made some commotion to let us know that something was going on.
I looked everywhere for the little guy and I couldn’t find him. Finally I decided to get into the shower as I was already making myself incredibly late for work. I walked over to the broken box fan that sits on my floor and turned it off. (I have to be careful not to slice my fingers off, because the grill of the fan is busted and hanging open) It was then that I found my little guy. He had somehow walked into the blade of the box fan, clipped his nose on it and bled to death on my rug.
Neechee is dead now.
The second I saw him, my heart went into my throat. He looked so little and sad and…dead. His body was perfectly intact, but his nose had dried blood on it. After I took a moment to compose myself, I went into the living room to get Kelly. She came in with me and saw poor little Neechee dead on the rug. I was just standing there shocked. Kelly immediately went and got some paper towel and I wrapped him up in a plastic bag and she disposed of him.
Then I came to work.
Once here, my boss proceeded to send me one obnoxious email after another about how my voice is too loud on the phone. He says that I talk to my mother too loudly. I immediately freaked out and wrote him back, basically telling him that of all the petty shit he could have slung at me this morning, this had to take the cake. We wrote nasty emails to each other until I just stopped communicating with him altogether. I just can’t do it today. Why the FUCK should I have to put up with this stupid stupid shit? I work too hard at my job to be criticized as though I was in fucking middle school.
I can’t get the image of Neechee’s dead body out of my mind. God, I hate today. Why the hell was I so irresponsible as to leave the top off of the cage? Mother fucker.
My friend Mariah called this morning and told me that she saw Paul yesterday. According to her, Paul misses me and is very upset that we are not speaking right now. Truth be told, the entire fight was my fault. I took it to a level that was not at all appropriate and I have been feeling terrible about it ever since. Paul shouldn’t want to be with me after what I did.
Yet he does. Want to be with me. He told Mariah that he loves me very intensely and wants nothing more than for us to work through the issue we are dealing with right now. He is being very level headed and fair about this. I wish he was here right now to give me a hug.
God, I feel like I could burst into tears.
I woke up this morning and noticed that the top to my hamster cage was left open last night. I had fed them before I got into bed and somehow forgot to close the cage. When I got out of bed this morning, I noticed that hamster Neechee was missing. I immediately started to panic. I looked all around my room and couldn’t find him. I thought maybe he got out of my bedroom and was walking around the apartment. But if that was the case, our cat would have made some commotion to let us know that something was going on.
I looked everywhere for the little guy and I couldn’t find him. Finally I decided to get into the shower as I was already making myself incredibly late for work. I walked over to the broken box fan that sits on my floor and turned it off. (I have to be careful not to slice my fingers off, because the grill of the fan is busted and hanging open) It was then that I found my little guy. He had somehow walked into the blade of the box fan, clipped his nose on it and bled to death on my rug.
Neechee is dead now.
The second I saw him, my heart went into my throat. He looked so little and sad and…dead. His body was perfectly intact, but his nose had dried blood on it. After I took a moment to compose myself, I went into the living room to get Kelly. She came in with me and saw poor little Neechee dead on the rug. I was just standing there shocked. Kelly immediately went and got some paper towel and I wrapped him up in a plastic bag and she disposed of him.
Then I came to work.
Once here, my boss proceeded to send me one obnoxious email after another about how my voice is too loud on the phone. He says that I talk to my mother too loudly. I immediately freaked out and wrote him back, basically telling him that of all the petty shit he could have slung at me this morning, this had to take the cake. We wrote nasty emails to each other until I just stopped communicating with him altogether. I just can’t do it today. Why the FUCK should I have to put up with this stupid stupid shit? I work too hard at my job to be criticized as though I was in fucking middle school.
I can’t get the image of Neechee’s dead body out of my mind. God, I hate today. Why the hell was I so irresponsible as to leave the top off of the cage? Mother fucker.
My friend Mariah called this morning and told me that she saw Paul yesterday. According to her, Paul misses me and is very upset that we are not speaking right now. Truth be told, the entire fight was my fault. I took it to a level that was not at all appropriate and I have been feeling terrible about it ever since. Paul shouldn’t want to be with me after what I did.
Yet he does. Want to be with me. He told Mariah that he loves me very intensely and wants nothing more than for us to work through the issue we are dealing with right now. He is being very level headed and fair about this. I wish he was here right now to give me a hug.
God, I feel like I could burst into tears.
